Here is some telling feedback from a recent discussion that I was witness to, among a mix of senior officers:
“If you go by the law book then what are we for?” asked a local leader of a new entrant in the police service, who was strictly going by the law book. This young entrant was determined to do what his teachers had taught him in the training academy.
Another voice said, “Some of the local representatives think that taking up popular issues alone is their primary responsibility and not legislating. They forget that the laws being followed were legislated by them.” I quote again, “Uptil 1990, the moment a riot took place, politics withdrew. Now, some actively search for a role in riots.” Said another member, “The police force suffers from a schizophrenic syndrome. It has a split culture. For survival it depends on politicians and for accountability on law. We need a clear chain of command.” A final quote: “There is a lurking fear among some seniors that if a senior DGP commands, will anyone obey? If appointments are not in the hands of the police leadership, then who is accountable?” Can such despondency brook any delay in current times? Much needs to be addressed from all possible directions. But most urgently there appears to be a compelling need to restore leadership where it belongs and clarify accountability.
Once accountability is restored to the appropriate location/position, it becomes the sole responsibility of the person to deliver the trust. The accountability is visible and fixed. Either he delivers or gets out. This, however, does not remove or even distance lines of wise counsel. They remain intact. We need not fear that. For it is equally imperative that electoral accountability stays in place. But the latter needs to draw a line. Regrettably, it is this balance that is now lost.
Often, one hears of an issue of debate titled, ‘Challenges in leadership for public servants’ . This is an amazing contradiction: public ‘servant,’ ‘leadership’, and ‘challenges’? A ‘servant’ is expected to be obeying all orders. He can be at best a good housekeeper. One who can be a good organiser, have the skills to keep the house in good shape, cook and serve well, deal with visitors and guests, answer phone calls smartly, fix appointments, keep confidentiality, do safe-keeping, attend to the aged and the needy, take care of children and even drive when there’s need. But how can he have leadership? Can he decide to renovate the house? Or repaint it differently? Or get new furniture? Or buy new gadgets? Or send the child to a different school? Or tell you what to wear? So when there is only routine work, where is the leadership which is synonymous with challenges?
Only a free person can exercise leadership. housekeepers are never free. They are expected to do as they are told to do. They can be dismissed whenever they show disobedience or indiscipline. It does not matter whether the housekeepers have the skills or not. They must wake up before the master does and sleep after the master has retired for the day. They have no right to any rest. In brief, they are slaves.
However, the housekeeper is the owner when the master is away. He can steal, entertain friends, slip away, abuse the place, sleep through, eat what he wants or can, disclose information and get away unless caught. After this kind of exposition, should we continue to address officials in public service as public servants? ‘No’, was the chorus at the meeting.
Thus, the first step to be taken is to change the nomenclature — stop calling officials in government service ‘public servants’; call them ‘public officials’. Their responsibility is to provide efficient and responsive administration. They are selected, appointed and trained officials in civil service. Once they are neither referred to, nor viewed as, public servants, these very same (whosoever chooses to belong to this group) so-called housekeepers will have to necessarily develop a whole new mindset of leadership. It is only then that they will call for challenges that are attached to the exercise of leadership. From public servants to public officials implies respecting authority without getting enslaved, taking initiatives, sharing credit, breaking the culture of control, encouraging growth, acquiring softer skills, empowering people, being trustworthy, communicating more, practising team work, having integrity and working with missionary zeal.
The biggest challenges that public officials will, and do, face is resistance from closed mindsets, vested interests, from within and without, including family and friends. But the biggest challenge will be the officer making choices for himself. The choices he will exercise based on his own attitudes and his beliefs, his own needs and own compulsions.
The choice that will have to be made by the person — to be a public servant? Or a housekeeper? Or the public official that people expect?
“If you go by the law book then what are we for?” asked a local leader of a new entrant in the police service, who was strictly going by the law book. This young entrant was determined to do what his teachers had taught him in the training academy.
Another voice said, “Some of the local representatives think that taking up popular issues alone is their primary responsibility and not legislating. They forget that the laws being followed were legislated by them.” I quote again, “Uptil 1990, the moment a riot took place, politics withdrew. Now, some actively search for a role in riots.” Said another member, “The police force suffers from a schizophrenic syndrome. It has a split culture. For survival it depends on politicians and for accountability on law. We need a clear chain of command.” A final quote: “There is a lurking fear among some seniors that if a senior DGP commands, will anyone obey? If appointments are not in the hands of the police leadership, then who is accountable?” Can such despondency brook any delay in current times? Much needs to be addressed from all possible directions. But most urgently there appears to be a compelling need to restore leadership where it belongs and clarify accountability.
Once accountability is restored to the appropriate location/position, it becomes the sole responsibility of the person to deliver the trust. The accountability is visible and fixed. Either he delivers or gets out. This, however, does not remove or even distance lines of wise counsel. They remain intact. We need not fear that. For it is equally imperative that electoral accountability stays in place. But the latter needs to draw a line. Regrettably, it is this balance that is now lost.
Often, one hears of an issue of debate titled, ‘Challenges in leadership for public servants’ . This is an amazing contradiction: public ‘servant,’ ‘leadership’, and ‘challenges’? A ‘servant’ is expected to be obeying all orders. He can be at best a good housekeeper. One who can be a good organiser, have the skills to keep the house in good shape, cook and serve well, deal with visitors and guests, answer phone calls smartly, fix appointments, keep confidentiality, do safe-keeping, attend to the aged and the needy, take care of children and even drive when there’s need. But how can he have leadership? Can he decide to renovate the house? Or repaint it differently? Or get new furniture? Or buy new gadgets? Or send the child to a different school? Or tell you what to wear? So when there is only routine work, where is the leadership which is synonymous with challenges?
Only a free person can exercise leadership. housekeepers are never free. They are expected to do as they are told to do. They can be dismissed whenever they show disobedience or indiscipline. It does not matter whether the housekeepers have the skills or not. They must wake up before the master does and sleep after the master has retired for the day. They have no right to any rest. In brief, they are slaves.
However, the housekeeper is the owner when the master is away. He can steal, entertain friends, slip away, abuse the place, sleep through, eat what he wants or can, disclose information and get away unless caught. After this kind of exposition, should we continue to address officials in public service as public servants? ‘No’, was the chorus at the meeting.
Thus, the first step to be taken is to change the nomenclature — stop calling officials in government service ‘public servants’; call them ‘public officials’. Their responsibility is to provide efficient and responsive administration. They are selected, appointed and trained officials in civil service. Once they are neither referred to, nor viewed as, public servants, these very same (whosoever chooses to belong to this group) so-called housekeepers will have to necessarily develop a whole new mindset of leadership. It is only then that they will call for challenges that are attached to the exercise of leadership. From public servants to public officials implies respecting authority without getting enslaved, taking initiatives, sharing credit, breaking the culture of control, encouraging growth, acquiring softer skills, empowering people, being trustworthy, communicating more, practising team work, having integrity and working with missionary zeal.
The biggest challenges that public officials will, and do, face is resistance from closed mindsets, vested interests, from within and without, including family and friends. But the biggest challenge will be the officer making choices for himself. The choices he will exercise based on his own attitudes and his beliefs, his own needs and own compulsions.
The choice that will have to be made by the person — to be a public servant? Or a housekeeper? Or the public official that people expect?
63 comments:
dear kiran ji
it will misfortune of delhi police and constitution of india if you are not selected delhi police commisionar.
ankit
Dear Kiran,
Yesterday was a sad day for Delhi - it lost a great chance to gain a reformer, a visionary to reform not just its police force but its soul and spirit which has been mutilated by corrupt politicians, lazy and uncaring beaureuacrats and brash and rich denizens only to happy to take the law in their own hands. I guess good things don't come easy and so the citizens of Delhi will have to wait some more. Only wish we knew what to do to get you where you rightfully belong. If anyone has an idea, please let us know. Meanwhile will pray for the sake of everyone in Delhi that justice and good sense prevails and you are brought back. If not, I hope we can convert this setback into an opportunity to start doing something on our own. Who needs the Government anyway ?
Very Disappointed to know the news yesterday. I have wrtten an article in protest. Please check the link http://hindi.webdunia.com/news/news/national/0707/26/1070726001_1.htm
Hi Kiranji,
Saw you yesterday on CNN IBN and could help writing to you. You have been a very strong inspiration for not only me but also many girls around the country and abroad.
I completely agree that the system is so rotten now that it's difficult to visualize what the forthcoming years would be for India.
I also feel paralyzed sometimes when I think that many of us give lots of comments and gyan on this topic, the media spokespersons do a poll but none of us has any guts/authority to do anything.
It would be really good if I hear back from you on anything which I can do to atleast change this system even a bit.
Dear Kiranji,
You have been an inspiration for many young women for the last two decades. You inspire awe and inordinate professional and personal respect. Your achievements and fearlessness in taking on the powerful and indisciplined politicians is stuff that legends are made of.
Police commisioners come and go. Most of them are corrupt, inspire no confidence in their ability to bring about any change in the society. They leave no mark, no impression. They occupy top posts only to misuse and abuse power. Pardon my cynicism, but if capable people made it to the top we wouldn't be a horribly mediocre society.
Your mission in life is a lot bigger. The kind of personal charisma, intellect and integrity you bring to any work that you do is so phenomenal that if you were to ask for volunteers for life-changing work, millions will line up at your door step. You don't need endorsements of corrupt unscrupulous men at the top, nor do you need crutches of designation and power. Let lesser mortals occupy irrelevant positions.
Please call upon the public to assist you in making the society a more liveable place. Would be happy to contribute in whateverway I can.
mam,
its very unfortunate that lots of policemen in this country remain irresponsible towards all the atrocities committed in the society. A policeman should behave like a friend to the common public.They should help the people.A policeman is also an humanbeing.He does not have any horns.Most of the poloicemen think that they should be given respect. First of all they must learn to give respect to the public. Its very sad that a common man today feels afraid to go to a police station to file an FIR. If police station itself is like this,then where will people go to give their complaints.An FIR has to be filed about a police officer in his police station itself..:).. is it possible..???.. before recruiting police officers for different posts they must undergo classes on value education.Its much more important than giving training to use weapons.. we cannot remain complacent just bcoz some police officers like you have remained honest and have done a good job..its just 0.1% in the country..what about the remaining..Its a big question...:)
i want to thank one all the writers and visitors to this blog...i was disappointed but since then moved on ...for time is precious and I owe it to myself to utilze it the right way..which is remain creative and productive...thank you once again...with my best wishes..kiran
friends i want to thank you all for posting your comments...and your kind feelings...please accept my gratitude...kiran bedi
SATSHREEAKAL KIRAN MAM.
THINKING ABOUT TO WRITE U FROM MANY DAYS, TODAY GOT TIME + BREAK MY LAZYNESS. MAM I M READING A BOOK ON U 'PUNJAB DI DALER DHEE' IN THEASE DAYS, FROM THAT I GET TO KNOW THAT HOW U LEFT UR DUTY FROM GOA 'CAUSE OF UR DAUGHTER'S ILLNESS. AND HOW U FOUGHT IN MIZORAM FOR THE RIGHT OF UR DAUGHTER. MAM I M SAYING THIS ALL BECAUSE IN THESE DAYS UR MOTHERLAND 'PUNJAB' NEEDS A DAUGHTER LIKE U TO SAVE HER DAUGHTERS. YES MAM I M TALKING ABOUT THE INCREASING RATE OF FEMALE FOETICIDE IN PUNJAB, AND NOBODY TAKING IT SERIOUSLY NOT EVEN GOVT. AND NOT ANY NGO. MAM TIME HAS COME WHEN U HAVE TO TAKE THE INITIATIVE AND PEOPLE LIKE ME ARE ALWAYS READY TO WORK UNDER UR LEADERSHIP TO REMOVE THIS ILLNESS FROM THE SOCIETY OF PUNJAB.
HOPE U REPLY POSITIVE.
THANKS
HARPREET SINGH
SATSHREEAKAL KIRAN MAM.
THINKING ABOUT TO WRITE U FROM MANY DAYS, TODAY GOT TIME + BREAK MY LAZYNESS. MAM I M READING A BOOK ON U 'PUNJAB DI DALER DHEE' IN THEASE DAYS, FROM THAT I GET TO KNOW THAT HOW U LEFT UR DUTY FROM GOA 'CAUSE OF UR DAUGHTER'S ILLNESS. AND HOW U FOUGHT IN MIZORAM FOR THE RIGHT OF UR DAUGHTER. MAM I M SAYING THIS ALL BECAUSE IN THESE DAYS UR MOTHERLAND 'PUNJAB' NEEDS A DAUGHTER LIKE U TO SAVE HER DAUGHTERS. YES MAM I M TALKING ABOUT THE INCREASING RATE OF FEMALE FOETICIDE IN PUNJAB, AND NOBODY TAKING IT SERIOUSLY NOT EVEN GOVT. AND NOT ANY NGO. MAM TIME HAS COME WHEN U HAVE TO TAKE THE INITIATIVE AND PEOPLE LIKE ME ARE ALWAYS READY TO WORK UNDER UR LEADERSHIP TO REMOVE THIS ILLNESS FROM THE SOCIETY OF PUNJAB.
HOPE U REPLY POSITIVE.
THANKS
HARPREET SINGH
HAPPY_SINGH303@YAHOO.COM
Hello Ma'm
Your post regarding public servants change in nomenclature to public officials is very right. It would definitely go a long way in improving the feeling of responsiblity towards their work. A positive morale booster. However, as you said finally its the choice of the individual. How much he or she as a government official is willing to execute his or her job correctly without any bias or prejudice and ofcourse within the timeframe inspite of all obstacles within and outside the system. It depends purely on individual determination to withstand all the negative influences and execute the job alloted rightly. Such a change should occur in each and every individual in the government service to make india an even better country . If you could do something for such a change ....my ..the dream itself is so good .....!
Hoping
plravi2003@yahoo.com
Madam !
You are a remarkable woman and a pillar of inspiration to all women. Each time I have read something about you and your work it has only left me with awe and a deep seated pride - one that comes from a woman to another woman !
With Love from across the seas,
All I know is Kiran Bedi rocks !!!!
Janice Corera
Sri Lanka
janice.corera@gmail.com
Most Inspiring Personality for all common people and booster of courage for lacs of people who are fighting for to get JUSTICE from CORRUPT and CRIMINAL SYSTEM.
By taking VRS you are snatching hopes of thousands of people that you have Courage like RANI JHANSI ans Passions like MAHATMA GANDHI to clean the SYSTEM. I heartly offer my services under your guidence.
With Regards,
PAMO GURNANI
Mob:9850501902
Dear Kiranji,
I had an opportunity to attend the Spirit in Business conference here in New York with you few years ago. Like many people in the world I was touched by your humanity and your fight for justice.
Tibet as you know is currently undergoing a very difficult chapter in its history similar to what India went through during the British rule. Tibetan people are led by the Dalai Lama who in turn is inspired by Mahatma Gandhi. We share many good and sad stories.
In the current age non violence is under great threat. Money, power and force is what people tend to respect. China as you know will be hosting the Olympic games in August. Olympics is a very important sport. Unfortunately, China through their ruthless occupation of Tibet is defiling this great sport.
I humbly appeal to you to show the world that truth and non violence is not lost. You can do it by simply refusing to be a torchbearer to express your concern on the destruction of Tibetan culture and China's refusal to negotiate with Tibet's leader His Holiness the Dalai Lama. Your step will send shiver in China and make the whole world revaluate the direction we are going.
Thank you,
Tsewang
Namaste Kiran,
one is not aware of the people one can inspire through your life. You have influenced me, even when I have not really met you. I live in US, but you have changed my life, many times over.
Thank you for being yourself..
one-inspired-soul
Namaste Kiran,
one is not aware of the people one can inspire through your life. You have influenced me, even when I have not really met you. I live in US, but you have changed my life, many times over.
Thank you for being yourself..
one-inspired-soul
friends please send me your comments directly through the contact page from my personal website www.kiranbedi.com
you will hear from me...
articles are uploaded on my site too....thanku very much for visiting my blog and the site...your friend kiran bedi
Respected Dr. Bedi
Salute to the your courage and determination.
It is very good to see, someone who was in government job, without getting painted in the corrupted black. Rather leaving a mark of her own at very juncture.
Kudos Mam.....
Respected Dr. Bedi
Salute to the your courage and determination.
It is very good to see, someone who was in government job, without getting painted in the corrupted black. Rather leaving a mark of her own at very juncture.
Kudos Mam.....
hello Kiran ma'am..
you have always inspired me and your thoughts have always given me direction..
some of your ideas have inspired me to take up a project as my thesis in college.. n i would like to meet you if it is possible..
i will highly obliged for the favour
thank you
hello mam and salam to you.
I visited ur sites and mission safer india..your work is really very effective and inspiring.
from past a year i was in search of some organization or link through which i can start and give service and help people.I have started with fund raising in my collage for the needy people.
through the process of searching for an act to initiate a benevolent cause, i remembered of the Tahalka Sting operation done by the tahala magazine and had been shown in news channels for 2 days during the time of election in january in gujarat this year. it was the shocking and clear evidence of the culprites of riot in gujarat-2002.People from the government ,mainly all from Bhajapa and others from vishwa hindu parisad had been shown admitting their crime soo openly on the screen. but later on this videos had been banned ny he government of gujarat. petitions against them also had been filed but no action has been taken till the date..I trust the constition of India but as you also be knowing that in gujarat,the government and police force are all majorly corrupted. we dont trust the police here. ...We are a group of younf friends who wish to initiate a protest and ask for the justice on the same.... i kindly request you to show us the path and support us... because the power and pressure here of the criminals is supported by the government itself. if u know ,the main accused of the naroda-patia riot in ahemedabad,2002, was Babu Bajarangi ,leader of VHP in ahemedabad, whose video was also published admitting rape and killing of pregnant muslim lady., even in the jafar ansari Case this people were accused.. there are many cases against babu bajrangi which was to put him in non-bailable custody , but he is never been arrested. one person from mehsana , filed a complain against him after riots ,which was published in times of india also, was kidnaped after the complaint...This is the state of law and order in gujarat..They just used the video to again ignite the communal thinking of people and got away safely.....please kindle a ray of hope.... we are with you.....awaiting your response.....salam
Why are there no blogs after 2006
Dear Madam,
We address this request to you regarding a photography project we are currently developing on Vipassana meditation programs in correctional facilities. This initiative is part of wider endeavor to portray several alternative methods pertaining to court penalties and prison regimes throughout the world.
Our deep interest in imprisonment issues and its function in our societies has led us to find out about Vipassana meditation programs in correctional facilities. As far as we are concerned, the creation and implementation of these programs must be saluted and made known because it reflects an inestimable contribution towards a better world. We profoundly believe that the degree of compassion in a society can be measured by looking at the way it treats its offenders. With this in mind, it is clear to us that the significant importance of Vipassana meditation programs must be recognized.
Considering your exceptional role and the utmost importance your work represents in the foundation of Vipassana meditation programs and with all due respect to your commitment and investment in the defense of human rights, we would greatly appreciate your support with our project.
We are two completely independent photo reporting professionals based in Montreal, Canada. For the past fifteen years, we each have developed a solid expertise both in photo reportage and in penal justice. Martin Beaulieu has been a photojournalist since 1995, covering human rights issues as well as health and environmental issues. Sophie Mangado has graduated in social studies and in economic and social management. She has worked for corrections facilities and community centers for the last ten years and has been conducting researches for photojournalism projects. We both believe photography should be put to profit in the defense of human dignity, which is the guiding line to our work.
We know your time must be precious and we thank you for taking a moment to examine our request. In accordance to your interest and means, we await any questions you may have and we will gladly discuss this endeavor with you. Please let us know how we can contact you pertaining to our project.
In the nexte few weeks, we will be abble to send you the whole writen project, we will allow ourselves to address it to you.
Yours faithfully,
Martin Beaulieu & Sophie Mangado
Contact: info@martinbeaulieu.ca / eihposam@gmail.com
Hi madam it was happiest day of my life that i met u.(Lodi Road and Ozone awards)But what i exremely like in u is ur passion ....a lady who knows wht to do how to do with tremendous power.Till now i have just seen u on tv but when i met u it gave me the power to move in life no matter how much obstacles we face. I am feminist and believe in complete emancipation of women.Great day for me.....thanks for the hand shake....hope to see u more in more conferences....Anju Wadhwa
CAN I SHAKE HANDS WITH U
Hi madam it was happiest day of my life that i met u.(Lodi Road and Ozone awards)But what i exremely like in u is ur passion ....a lady who knows wht to do how to do with tremendous power.Till now i have just seen u on tv but when i met u it gave me the power to move in life no matter how much obstacles we face. I am feminist and believe in complete emancipation of women.Great day for me.....thanks for the hand shake....hope to see u more in more conferences....Anju Wadhwa
While agreeing to al this, I wish to suggest some remedies. There can be a concrete effort on to actually put our country (Hamara Pyaara Bharat) on the path that most of us think is correct. We together with like minded people can make it a reality, if our efforts can be transformed into actions. I will be happy to meet you in person & share how best & at the earliest we can achieve this. With Lok Sabha elections round the corner, this is high time we deliberate on the burning issues & come up with solutions. Lets see if we can meet some day at your invitation.. Neeraj Sood
Respected Kiran mam,
I consider myself very fortunate that i m able to tell you that you`ve been a source of inspiration for me since i was 5 yrs old.....I want to be an I.A.S OFFICER and know that I can be a good officer as my aim is not to just become an officer and earn and live my life....but to see my NATION on the top....top and there will be no terrorism no evil thoughts no discriminations nothing bad all good which can only turn india as "THE BEST"
It has been my dream to change all th old bad customs like child marriage etc.and save all the innocent lives that are being destroyed due to these customs.....
but sometimes i feel that oh!! i m just 13 write now and there`s nothing i can do....i don`t know till the time i grow up where will be INDIA...and when i tell someone my thoughts they laugh at me and say..these can be just dreams...but i know i can turn dreams into reality.....
i end here saying thank you as i felt really nice after sharing my thoughts with you and wish to meet you....i would be very delighted if i recieve ur reply and please give me your address or a place to meet....so that one dream of mine would be fulfilled that day....MY E-MAIL ADDRESS IS shivi63in@yahoo.co.in
\
"THANK YOU"
trying to get to youe email address
to send you an issue about institutional senior citizens home . conditions less than ideal
abuse and diversion of facility to other uses. old lady illtreated neglected and abused. promises broken a clear case of cheating
MADAMJI,
NOW IS TIME TO YOU TO BECAME A PRIME MINISTER OF INDIA,IT IS VERY NECESSARY FOR INDIA,MADAM PLEASE COLLECT 600 GOOD&EDUCATED PEOPLE FROM ALL OVER INDIA LIKE DOCTOR,CIVILENG,BIO-AGRIENG,ELECTRONIC ENG,RETIRED MILITARY & POLICEMAN.MAKE YOUR OWN PARTY,THIS IS THE TIME FOR US TO TAKE FREEDOM AGAIN FROM DIRTY POLITICIANS.
JAI HIND,
ANIL PRAJAPATI,
09819793835.
KIRANJI namaskar aaj aapki kachehri ke pichle kuch faisle dekhe aur sune, logon ka dard aap jis tarah baant rahi hain woh sarahniye hai.Aap ke dwara tootte samaj ko punah jodne ka kadam taaref ke kabil hai.KEEP IT UP KIRANJI.
Hi MAM
you remember when you came to JNU this year in the evening one day in MARCH
I was also their when you had asked one questioned that "How many students do SHRAMDAN, ?" and many had replied in YES they DO . BUT this is not true ,like the children of fourth grade employees were always roaming on the road in JNU Campus....... Every were around Hostels lots of garbage were scattered but no one cares....I had told to my friends to take some steps but they remain constant...........NOW YOU tell us what to do? I think we organize one talk in the Hostel Mess and day after we do some practical like cleaning Arena of the hostel and road.
Please inform me when you are free i will arrange and inform to my friends through POster.plz provide your MOBILE no.,..I will be obliged if you will co-operate us.
thanking you
PARVEZ ALAM
NARMADA HOSTEL
JNU NEW DELHI
parvezalam43@gmail.com
9953333736
Hi Kiranji,
I am writing to you from California. My sister who lives in Delhi insisted that I check your website atleast. I am a US citizen. So I am not sure how you may be able to help the situation.
I was reading Rushmi's story. Mine was not as horrific, But I have been a victim of emotional abuse and extreme control. I wondered that how an independent and educated woman who had ambitions and goals that I had achieved bacame what I became.
Living in a foriegn land controlled by the husband, a charming, handsome engineer living in US, who came through a news paper ad. I have spent years in fear and depression for the way i was treated in my home that was my dream. Always making sure that salad was cut right and that I didn't listen to anything else but the music that he would listen to. drove a car until the wires came out of the tires. " Khatey ho to kharcha bhi do" Since he provided the Chhat(roof) on my head so I had to be a good wife and do everything right.the stories could go on...even decided to end it all one day...but heck my life was not so cheap!
I finally moved out after fifteen years of lashing out, verbal abuse, emotional abuse. I would wake up in the morning and look at his face to guess what my day would be like. I could write a book on the abuse i bore for fifteen years. I finally collected the courage to take the step...I filed for divorce. Hired an attorney with the help from the family. While I am trying to make the ends meet, he has pilferred all the money back home. I am hitting a wall everytime I try to find where did savings go. I was never part of the finances to begin with, and now we are finding that whatever there was he has used it for his business that he is running with his Mother as the Director, in India. He has shown losses all over. I have two teenage daughters and I am struggling to keep us afloat. I get a pitiful support from him considering what his calibre is. Even after six months of leaving him my whole body starts to shake when he comes to take the kids for a week(since we share half custody,Because he doesn't want to pay me for any more than that)And is fighting tooth and nail to have them half the time.
I lost both my parents worrying sick for me. I have gone through intense depression myself. I made up my mind the morning when my daughter told me " Ma, i heard papa call you a F....piece of Sh.. last night" she was afraid to say the words. I knew then that I was only harming them by allowing them to hear this. I found a job at a good school district (working with special kids). It provides health insurance and my own kids get to go to the great schools. And the peace of mind and no back and shoulder aches that had become chronic.
My question to you is how can the Indian system help me...since I was married in India. Is there a way to find out any hidden accounts there? My attorney seems very surprised how some of these manipulative Indian husbands keep their wives in dark and leave them nothing to work with. He thinks if got something , anything to show to the cort that he is doing and hiding back home I could get justice.
I am struggling here to pay my bills while he is syphoning the monies.
Please Help!!
My email
Hi Kiranji,
This is Lakhbir Raj from Amritsar. I was visting your site to find any wayout to contact you in person but was unable to find any email address or contact number. I need your help on some personal issue and i think you will be in a position to pull me out from the trouble which i am facing right now. I am running short of time, so if you can tell me some wayout to connect to you that will be a great help for me. My contact details are:
Email:lakhbir1983@gmail.com
Mobile: +91-9872882008
Waiting for your prompt revert.
Regards,
Lakhbir Raj
Dear Kiranji
Just discovered your blog and would probably copy everyone who has written I admire you, I'm inspired by you and I love you for what you have been and are!! But why has this blog become inactive? You could still give so much encouragement to women to do what they have probably thought was not possible or difficult to achieve.
Geeta
Needless to say Ms Bedi is a person all women look up to. Secretly or openly all think I wish I could be like her! I wish I had even an iota of her guts!
The recently launched website, “saferindia.com”, aimed at extending help to those whose complaints are not heard by the police, is indeed wonderful.
It will work as a pressure group to make the voice of the aggrieved heard.
. We stay in Gurgaon and if there is any way I could contribute my time and assistance, please let me know. I would love to volunteer in any capacity.
Anita Jaswal
Gurgaon
KIRAN BEDI,
YOU ARE REQUIRED AS "PRIME MINISTER" OF OUR COUNTRY "BHARAT.
Dear Kiran,
I wish to thank you for the extraordinary service you rendered to our country as a Ploice Officer and the service you are doing as a plain civilian.
I did not know how to get in touch with you. I hope this message will reach you.
I am a senior citizen and currently employed in Delhi.
I need your advice in resolving a problem that may at first sight appear to be very simple.
One S K Mittal has given my mobile number to ICICI Bank and ABN Amro. These two banks keep sending alerts to me regarding payments/defaulted EMI etc.
I have written to the two banks and they keep telling me that they will act. I also had a telephonic interaction with ICICI officer and he promised me that the issue will be resolved.
For the last three months I am receiving such messages and banks have failed to act.
The phone number in question is +919818380258, my wife is currently using this number.
What do I do next?
Frankly I do not know if I could bother you on this matter. But I did this because this may have roots in some kind of economic offence/cheating etc on the part of Mr SK Mittal, whosoever he is!
warm regards,
L.S.Karandikar
+919818089593
Keeran said...
Hi Kiran Bedijee,
At the risk of echoing what the world thinks about you , I would like to say you are The most Phenomenal Women of India!!!
I am Fashion Designer by profession and a Single Mom Of two boys,am a blogger too and on the eve of Women's Day my entry to the contest on "Who I want to be reborn as "I have written a brief biography about you.I would like you to please read it if possible.
http://www.fropper.com/posts/29272#show-comment
Regards n Salutations
Keeran Thakur.
8:23 AM
GOOD DAY MAM,
MY NAME IS PRASHANT, ND I AM IT PROFESSIONAL, I HAD SEEN UR SERIES OF AAP KI KACHHARI ND U R DOING A GREAT JOB.
BUT 1 THING THAT I HAD OBSERVED AS PER MY PERSONAL EXPERINCE TILL NOW THAT IN INDIA WE ARE LIVING IN A COUNTRY THAT IS SAID TO BE DEMOCRATIC, BUT I THINK THAT WE AS CITIZENS OF INDIA DOESN'T KNOW WHT IT MEANS ACTUALLY.
THE STAUTE OF LIBERTY IN USA SYMBOLIZES THAT ALL THOSE HELPLESS, POOR, AND THOSE WHO WANTS SHELTER COME TO ME.I WIL GIVE YOU SPACE. I THINK OUR CONSTITUTION ALSO PROVIDES THE SAME THE RIGHT TO LIVE & TO LIVE FOR HUMANITY.
BUT I THINK WE OURSELVES HAS FORGOTTEN THE MEANINGS OF ALL THESE THINGS.
IF YOU WLL JUST WALK ON ROAD, U WILL FIND THAT EVERYONE IS RUNNING FOR THEMSELVES ONLY, ND WE DONT HAVE ENOUGH TIME TO STOP ND LOOK AT OURSELVES.
IN THIS RACE OF EXISTANCE, THOSE WHO ARE POOR OR WHO NEED HELP GET CRUSHED OR U CAN SAY GET MOLESTED BY THOSE WHO ARE SITTING AT THE NODAL CENTRES IN OUR SOCIETY.
IN OUR WORK CULTURE ALSO, BEING IT A BANKING,OR MEDICAL OR THE PRIVATE SECTOR THAT I M CURRENTLY IN WE DONT WANT TO FOLLOW OUR DUTIES. WE DONT WALK AS PER LAWS BUT TO BEND THEM AS PER OUR CONVINIENCE. I DONT KNOW WHT ACTUALLY LIES BEHIND ALL THESE. MAY BE ITS OUR INDIAN WORK CULTURE OR WHT.
I HAVE BEEN POSTED TO ESIC HOSPITAL, BASAIRDARAPUR, AT NEW DELHI. BY MY COMPANY AS AN NETWORK ENGINEER. THERE I HAD INTERFACED EVRY KIND OF PERSON RANKING FORM SCALE 1 TO SCALE 4.
AFTER DEALING WITH THEM I HAD COME TO REALIZE THAT NO ONE AMONG THEM WAS FULL FILLING THIER DUTIES WELL, EVEN THE CLASS1 OFFICERS THEY WRE LIKE WE ARE THE OFFICERS. IF SOME ONE IN NEED COMES TO THEM FOR HELP , THEY EVEN DONT WANT TO INTERFAE THAT PERSON, I DONT KNOW WHY THEY ARE SITTING OVER THERE FOR.
WHEN WE GO TO THEM FOR PORVIDING THEM SOLUTIONS TO THEIR COPMUTER PORBLEMS. NO ONE EVEN INTRESTED TO GET IMPROVISE. I SILL REMEMBER ONE DAY A PERSON HAD SAID THAT YAAR YE SARKARI DEPARTMENT HAI, YAHN PAR CHALTA KAAM KARO, ND I WAS SHOKED AFTER LISTENING THIS .
ND IN THE HOSPITALS ITSELF U KNOW URSELF WHT HAPPENS EXACTLY INTO ALL.
BUT THERE IS A LADY NAMED MS. V. K . PATAHK AS ASST. DIRECTOR CASH. SHE WAS THE ONLY AMONG THE CRAP OVER THERE WHO WAS WORKING ND FULL FILLING HER DUTIES WELL.
EVEN WHEN SOME TIMES I WAS INTO TROUBLE SHE STOOD BESIDES ME TO FIGHT FOR THE RIGHT THINGS. DUE TO THIS HER STAFF MATES WERE JEALOUS OF HER ALSO.
THIS WAS GOVERMENT, NOW LET ME TELL U ABOUT THE PRIVATE SECTOR ALSO, EVERY ORAGNISTAION IN INDIA WANTS TO WORK FOR PROFIT ONLY, THEY DONT CARE ABOUT THE HUMAN VALUES ND RESPONSIBLITES. THEY JUST WANT WORK FROM U. THEY DONT CARE EVEN IF WHT UR GOING THROUGH.
AFTER DISCRIBING ALL ABOVE 1 THING THT I HAD OBSERVED IS THIS TO TACKLE WITH THIS KIND OF SYSTEM THE POSSIBLE WAY IS EITHER YOU BECOME A PART OF IT ND FOLLOWS THE SAME
OR U JUST COMME OUT ND START MAKING A NEW INDIA.
OR THIER IS ANOTHER OPTION ALSO THAT LEAVE THIS PLACE GO TO SOME ANOTHER COUNTRY LIKE US OR UK OR CANADA WHERE AT LEAST U CAN LEAVE WITH UR PEACE OR U MAY SEARCH FOR SOME NEW HORIZONS.
BUT ONE THING FOR SURE AS INDIANS WE HAVE TO REALIZE OURSELVES THT WHT ARE OUR DUTIES, RESPONSIBLITES, OUR HUMAN VALUES ND CULTRUAL ALSO.
ND WE HAVE TO START WORKOUT ON OUR NEGATIVE PARTS ALSO. ONLY THEN WE CAN MAKE THIS WORLD A BETTRE PLACE TO LIVE OR
ELSE I THINK IT WOULD B ALL WASTE THT WHT WE ARE DOING NOW, IF WE WILL COTINUE WITH THE SAME ATTITUDE THT WE ARE FOLLOWING NOW.
So what if she couldn't be the Police Commissioner of Delhi...infact she has raised much above to all such titles...!!! She doesn't need any Government "Thappa" to acknowledge her devotion to her duty....She is in the heart of each and every citizen of India...I have never heard of Dadwal prior to this issue....I cannot recognize him in public...But I KNOW Mrs. Kiran Bedi since my childhood and it fills me with pride and respect for her everytime i see her or think about her!!!!
Hi Mrs Bedi,
I am Rasina here.Only a few days back did my tamil teacher mentioned about you and asked the class to do a research about. I am truly impressed and inspired about your achievements.My ambition is to be a lawyer in future and I aspire to fight for women rights.I will write soon. Thank you and take care.
Rasina 16
rasinab@hotmail.com
Singapore
Respected Deedee
Jai Hind
I hope you are keeping well & doing Great, i am very happy to find your blog & website Our Mission prahar has Reached to the Training Completion of aprox 27 lakhs women Self Defence Training
Always Pray for you & want to see you as the President of Republic of India
Please take care,
God Bless you
Vande Matram
Jai Hind &
INQUALAB ZINDABAD
Warm & Best regards
Bhagat Singh 2nd
Commando deepak Dubey
www.missionprahar.com
www.shaolindeepakdubey.com
Respected Deedee
Jai Hind
I hope you are keeping well & doing Great, i am very happy to find your blog & website Our Mission prahar has Reached to the Training Completion of aprox 27 lakhs women Self Defence Training
Always Pray for you & want to see you as the President of Republic of India
Please take care,
God Bless you
Vande Matram
Jai Hind &
INQUALAB ZINDABAD
Warm & Best regards
Bhagat Singh 2nd
Commando deepak Dubey
www.missionprahar.com
www.shaolindeepakdubey.com
Hi mem mera naam kamini hai aap please mujhe apni email id aur contact no bhej dain please
please send me your ID aur contact no please mujhe apki help chahiye
respected kiran ji we want to complain u abt commando deepak dubey he is running mission prahar he is not the right person for girls he mentally harrased by telling lies we r requesting u to help us plz to save the life of many he has not learnt the skill in china but in jabalpur his home town his guru is shankar dada he himself is shocked that when he went to china he is fooling people the only person in india is kanishka sharma u can check www.chinashaolintemple.com who is the only indian we r so mentally harresed that we want justice becoz we have seen ur photograph with him so plz give us justice he fools people emotionally and u know that emotional man r dangerous he say he is a bramchari and monk but they lead such a life like deepak ji
Respected kiranji,
we have spoil our carrier becoz of DEEPAK DUBEY .He went to china in 2008 for few days to prove himself correct we want to expose him in public so we can save many they do not suffer like us.He is a dual face man to save his character he says he is a bramchari and monk so that nobody can point out his character.
Dear Ritu dont try to spoil the Image of our master 1 st thing this is neither your Correct name nor your id its all fake if you mean so pleazse mention your address & your contact no i shall personally talk to you
these are the links of videos which will clear your vision he is our master we all respect him laks of women consider him as Father i am 1 of them if you are mentioning about Kanishka sharma and all Master has never spoken bad about any 1 at all..please check out the videos & please dont use your cheap tricks in a very respected person s blog if you really sure what you said register a case let the law decide the Truth,Regards
Marrina Anderson
PA to Shifuji Deepak Dubey( Commando Trainer )
Please check the Mentioned below
Discovery s Coverage- Additional music has been put-
00--Shaolin qi gong is being performed by a shaolin warrior monk Deepak Dubey
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3hCn8gCi8HQ
1---Introduction of Shaolin Shifu Deepak Dubey,Commando Trainer
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q5D5LmnGgJc
2--MISSION PRAHAR BY COMMANDO DUBEY-SHAOLIN MONK,& DRUNKN MASTR
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nBbfer27LN8
3--Shifu jis Young days performance in the temple
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rlaogk5ojac
4--Grand master Training the Mumbai Police
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SEP4CmFKI1M
5-- 2 shifus Performing WARRIOR MONKS KUNG FU IN SHAOLIN TEMPL
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uHmPrnJHjbE
6-- shifu Deepak Dubey,Commando Deepak Dubey, Yogacharya,Warrior Monk
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Rp1yKY-Dvc
7-- Disciples Performing in the Shows
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y8HyaZzn4A0
8-- Shaolin Qi-Gong
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nptu87Gndak
9--Promo of Tv 9
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x3HvL6hh6A8
10--Masters Mission
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rG-lAhoaQ4g
11--Master Shifuji s Performing 3 Sticks
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nw2T366wAY0
12--Shifu ji as a Commando trainer Master & His commandos performing
in the Commandos Show & Balancing on 6 swords
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OJSwTtIHjKE
13--Commando Dubey -- faster than Bruce Lee in Nun Chack
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rjDwSsokzck
14-- COMMANDO TRAINING COMMANDOS BOOT CAMP
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KEvyVp0cd9I
15--Commando Training of NSG Indian Main Commandos wing
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7zSwdFUe-Xo
16--Shifu master As The Commando Trainer with The Army Commandos in The Show
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8V1p6lUVFoU
17--Mission Prahar by Commando Dubey Sir
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y0CeSLzTlaE
18-- Mission Prahar s Promo by BTV
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LtAqO3Poi_c
19--Game of death by Shifu ji s
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wMx9h26708U
20-- 少林寺中國縣富石寮應念,COMMANDO SHIFU DEEPAK IN SHAOLIN
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ennbYFGsXmc
21-Masters Mission Prahar dare devil Show
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vfpog9tLQxc
22--shifu performing his own modified Kung fu Modified Kung fu
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x7tO0rzFycg
23--SHIFU WITH HIS DISCIPLES IN THE SHAOLIN TEMPLE CHINA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=omT1Ynop62I
24--Shifu Commando Sir as The Warrior Monk of Shaolin & Shifu111
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Bzozp0Sg9k
25--Shifu ji s Playing with the Death The Faith of a disciple is seen
in his Master
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vI6kLfGm5K0
26--Mission Prahar of Shifuji
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IbUrIGuXKxg
27--Mission Prahar s Aggressive skills
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-tQCg172adE
28--Master Performing Shaolin s 3 sticks
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pilPyTVsFl4
29--Shifuji s Performing Shaolin Lohan sModified
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=26c_FAETU5U
30--Shaolin Qi-Gong
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8pqfW-oqbj4
31--Commando Dubey -- faster than Bruce Lee in Nun Chack
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rjDwSsokzck
32--Commando Sirs all International Disciples came to Perform at CYG
Shifu Performing Three Sticks & Then Shaolin Stepp Bamboo in The Grand
Carnival Parrade on The Request of International Media of 71 Countries
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9QHlIZPfBJM
33--Military Martial arts of Mumbai Police After attack
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nxZTRUTi0hU
Best Regards
www.missionprahar.com
www.shaolindeepakdubey.com
Regards
Marrina Anderson
PA to Shifuji Commando Deepak
Chief Co-ordinator- International Events
Commando Trainer, Mission Prahar
I am MARRINA ANDERSON,CANADA. I have never worked wid these guy called Deepak dubey, i just met him in Kathmandu, he took some of my picz as a tourist. He is a fake person, Shifu Deepak Dubey is fake, really fake. Shifu Deepak Dubey dosn't know any martial art. Shifu Deepak Dubey said he is a fan n follower of some indian actor called akshey. He is working day n night on the internet to spread his fake admiration and acknowledgment. Beware of Shifu Deepak Dubey.
Miss Fake Marrina Anderson You people are really trying to Disturb An honorable Person Like Madam Kiren
If you people have any problem to Commando Deepak go & fight if you do have the guts to do so,
the comment that you ppl have left about me Listen this is MARRINA ANDERSON,My email is
anderson.canada@usa.com
My Home address is-
Staying at Mumbai,& 1455 de Maisonneuve Blvd. W.
Montreal,Concordia, QC H3G 1M8
Canada & Stay at Mumbai too.
& if you are marrina anderson your IP address belongs to India,Your name which you give a post from is of Anthony,if You Really want to Compete any one you should compete with your ownself This is whta our Master Shifuji Deepak says,& he him self says the Battle is won by courage not by any kung-fu,He says he isnt a master & he just a learner i can give you the Address of Grandmaster of Shaolin you can enquire about the truth from shaolin itselfI for all of your kind information I v never been to Katmandu,& all.
Be courageous enough to face a fighter in the Ring rather then in the internet.if you people have guts i am ready to fix your meeting with Master come & fight yiou will come to know whose kung-fu is better with your broken teeth ,
Regards--May Buddha bless you,
NAMASTE KIRANJI U ARE GRATE PARSON I AM INSPAYER U. 'UDHAAN'DHEKH KE BAD APKI TARAHA BANANA CHAHATE THE PER HO NA SAKA. PAR KUCH KAR GUJARNE KI TAMANNA JARUR HAI. U GRATE
Hello mam
Dear Madam we have been following your blog from a long time its wonderful,we are very happy to work with our grandmaster Shifuji Deepak Dubey-Commando Trainer as we all know the respect level of yours for our master is very high must say the highest ,while going through your blog we found some comments for our Master nothing related to you but just to clarify their enquiries we are leaving some details we hope you will not mind it thankyou,regards
Shifuji's team-Chan-Wu-Yi
Email- chanwuyi1@gmail.com
Blog-http://chanwuyi.blogspot.com
http://shifuji.blogspot.com/
Websites-
www.shifuji.com,
www.shaolindeepakdubey.com,
www.missionprahar.com
The video links are mentioned below :- (click to watch)
Introduction of Shifuji from Childhood
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J2HIw7OkgTk
1---Shifuji, Skills ,Commando Trainer,Yoga,Mission prahar.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q5D5LmnGgJc
2--MISSION PRAHAR presentation
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nBbfer27LN8
AAj Tak
Commando Sir In News for training of Mumbai Police Commandos
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DVShr2Z0zh4
News 24
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mFTLp6ub6a4
Star News
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=enQnhh0RTTk
News 24 of Mission Prahar
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AK1LnSn8bYo
3—Mission Prahar in Sahara Samay News
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QQKAIwC_xeI
4--Grand master Training the Mumbai Police
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SEP4CmFKI1M
5-- 2 shifus Performing WARRIOR MONKS KUNG FU IN SHAOLIN TEMPL
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uHmPrnJHjbE
Children training in Gong-fu & Indian Hath Yog
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3TL_N8Go_m0
6-- shifu Deepak Dubey,Commando Deepak Dubey, Yogacharya,Warrior Monk
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Rp1yKY-Dvc
7-- Disciples Performing in the Shows
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y8HyaZzn4A0
8-- Shaolin Qi-Gong
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nptu87Gndak
9--Promo of Tv 9
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x3HvL6hh6A8
10--Masters Mission
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rG-lAhoaQ4g
11-Chan wu yi Moving meditation http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q_yD2tiDIPE
THE PHOTOS GALLERY
http://picasaweb.google.com/commandodubey/ShifuDeepakDubeyCommandoTrainerDeepakDubeyShaolinWarriorMonkShaolinTempleChina
WWW.SHIFUJI.COM
WWW.MISSIONPRAHAR.COM
WWW.SHIFUJI.COM
WWW.MISSIONPRAHAR.COM
WWW.SHAOLINDEEPAKDUBEY.COM
I admire you since my childhood... 6th std... U hve always been my inspiration... I agree with your views and feel shameful on our system... there is hardly any scope for clean people in Indian society who wish to bring a positive change,,,
Respected Madam,
I have grown up respecting you. You are like living Durga Mata for so many of us. Your guts, your Bravery, your indealism, love for Motherland - everything has inspired me since when I was a kid. I used to hear so many brilliant stories about your bravery from my Mom who also regards you highly. I always knew I had the soldier in me, in fact, I had cleared the UPSC's Central Defence Service Exams in 2003 and cleared SSB too and was selected for the Indian Military Academy. I wished to join but being the only child of my parents, my dad and mom told me they will feel sad if something happens to be on the battlefield. I really wanted to go, but when I saw my mom sad, I left the option, it still hurts me, but well, past is past. Now I am working in a Central PSU and live alife of honesty, work diligently and never hurt the weak. I try to follow the words of Swami Vivekananda heart and soul. India is Proud of you Madam, we all are Proud of you. Jai Hind. With Regards,
Abhishek
I never kne that people are bogging since 006. its that old concept.
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